Perfecting Connecting®: Learning to Speak the Language of Others (part 3)
by Sarah Michel |
The Theorists
Their core needs are for mastery of concepts, knowledge, and competence. Theorists want to understand the operating principles of the universe. They seek to learn or develop theories for explaining everything. They value expertise, logical consistency, concepts, and ideas. They seek progress. Theorists abstractly analyze a situation and consider previously unthought-of possibilities. Research, analysis, searching for patterns, and developing hypotheses are their natural modi operandi when connecting with others. Theorists are called Owls because of their ability to have incredible focus, strategic vision, intuitive strength, and pragmatic approaches to solving problems.
Theorist case study: Here’s how a senior sales executive of an international recruitment advertising firm strategically develops her network to support her sales success.
“I’m an effective networker by design. I take a genuine interest in people and then try and connect them with others. For example, last night my company hosted a party with clients and prospects, many of whom did not know each other. By standing at the door, greeting people, and asking them brief questions, I was able to connect them with people at the party who possessed similar interests or expertise. Because of doing this, everyone had a nice time and will remember my company and me favorably. My follow-up calls with prospects will be easier and better received as a result.”
“Prior to attending any function, I develop a plan: Who should I look for? What should I achieve? Am I there to establish a presence or meet a specific person with the goal of a follow-up meeting?”
“Network functions take the ‘cold’ out of cold calling and allow the opportunity to connect with people on a more personable level. I decide whether or not to maintain the contact on both personal and professional levels. If the person is likeable or fun, I might continue to build a relationship just for those reasons. Sometimes my business dictates that I keep in touch with someone due to current or future business needs. I certainly evaluate what the contact can provide: more connections, potential business, credibility, expertise, information, or knowledge. First is being able to give any of those things; second is personality.”
When connecting with Theorists, remember to:
- Avoid emotion, stay calm
- Avoid irrelevant, trivial, redundant conversation
- Recognize their accomplishments and say how they’ve affected you
- Watch your use of words; avoid exaggerations and mispronunciations
- Present a logical reason if you want something from them (WIIFM)
- Give a conceptual view when presenting information
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The Catalysts
Their core needs are to enjoy the meaning that comes from having a sense of purpose and working toward some greater good. Catalysts need to have a sense of unique identity; they value unity, self-actualization, and authenticity. Catalysts prefer cooperative interactions with a focus on ethics and morality. They’re gifted at unifying people and helping them realize their potential. They build bridges between people through empathy and clarification of deeper issues, which makes them highly effective. Catalysts are called Dolphins because of their diplomatic talents in bridging two worlds. They travel in pods, are highly intelligent, have a unique ability to sense the vulnerable, and live to nurture empathic relationships.
Catalyst case study: Here is how a marketing executive from the sports and entertainment industry handled her career transition into the technology field. Notice how she diplomatically created relationships and networks to help her land a position as chief information officer (CIO) with an internet company in New York City.
“When I decided I wanted to join the internet world, I went to three general internet conferences that were featuring three CEOs of the companies I was targeting. As I listened to each of them speak about their companies, I evaluated not only their content and delivery but the passion that they had for their employees and their products. That left me with two companies I wanted to work for but I did not introduce myself on the spot because I had zero leverage. I had no industry experience and I wanted them to want me.
“So I went back to my network and called several internet marketing headhunters whom I had long-standing relationships with. I let them introduce me to one of these CEOs looking for a new CIO and he hired me. In my first two months in the job, I called 7 or 8 non-competing internet company CEOs and senior executives then hosted a lunch to get their perspective on the industry and begin to build relationships. During these lunches, they felt important that I was seeking their counsel. On a person level, I got to know them better— where they lived, married or single, kids, sports they liked, mutual acquaintances—so we had multiple levels of connections. I then kept records in my database of who I thought were all stars, both professionally and personally.”
When connecting with Catalysts, remember to:
- Be passionate, sincere, and authentic
- Talk and listen empathically to build rapport
- Use metaphors, symbols, and stories to connect
- Focus on the future—details about what might be, not what is
- Talk about your significant relationships and ask about theirs
- Discuss how your connections contribute to the development of individuals and/or organizations
What’s Your Preference?
Most likely you identified with each of the four temperament descriptions, even just a little. As people grow older and wiser, they learn to adapt their behavior, stretch their values and beliefs, and develop a variety of preferences. Quite simply, the older we get, the more perfect God makes us. This explains why you’d see a little of yourself in all four descriptions. However, one of these patterns should feel like “home base” more than the other three.
When you think about the people within your network, I encourage you to determine which of the four temperament patterns is their preference, and then approach each of them using the recommendations above. You’ll begin to see results, not only professionally but personally, too. You’re aiming for long-term connections—networking for life, not networking for the moment.
When you first meet people you want to connect with, ask questions that start with the words who, what, where, how, and why. In their responses, listen for clues that tip you off about their core needs, values, talents, and behaviors—that is, their temperament preference. The more you “temperament watch,” the more quickly identifying these preferences becomes second nature to you.
Understanding temperament will give you the “instruction manual” you need to improve your connections. Once you speak their language, you’re on your way to Perfecting Connecting!
© Sarah Michel. All Rights Reserved. For more information visit www.PerfectingConnecting.com.
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